Tales of a Post-Modern Summer. Part ONE

My favourite part of the year is almost upon us again: sweet, sultry, salacious, summer!
I know I probably exclaimed my love for winter and its corresponding collections just last year, but shush! 
Everyone has a natural or sprayed on glow in summer, strutting their stuff down the boardwalk. Some outfits induce premature hot flashes and supreme Popsicle liquefaction, while others induce gag reflex work-outs and thoughts like 'why-did-I-have-to-see-your-hairy-cankles-now-I'm-traumatized-for-life!'.
Obviously, I can't help you if you've got hairy cankles*, but I can help you find an outfit for every aestival occasion.
I was going to do the whole "Style For Guys Extreme Bonanza Summer Extravaganza Special, Bitchez" (SFGEBSESB), in one lengthy blog post. But I just discovered too many luscious looks, so I decided to split the special up in five parts. Each part will focus on a specific occasion and what you must wear should the opportunity arise, plus what soundtrack should be playing in your head.


ACT I of V
"Strawberry Fields Forever"
Imagine a dusky summer's eve. You and your special someone have been aimlessly wandering around all day, soaking up the sun. Both a bit sunburnt and very lost you stop and look around. In the corner of your eyes you see a glowing shimmer, and you hear a soft rustling. Then you see it: a gloriously sunlit straw field on a hill, a luminous shade of gold. You grab eachother's hand and just start running up that hill like Kate Bush is chasing you in person. Your clothes in all shades of tan and beige melt in beautifully with the surroundings. Finally you fall down, exhausted yet exhilarated, and just lay there in silence.

Blazer: H&M
Henley: Burberry Prorsum
Shorts: Ralph Lauren
Hat: Paul Smith
Shades: Bottega Veneta
Belt: Maison Martin Margiela
Shoes: N.D.C.
Bag: Jil Sander
Scarf: Gucci
*Cankles: Ankles that have no discernable narrowing from the calf to the foot. Ew.