How To Survive The Insanity Of Summer Sales

You know the drill: big neon letters screaming at you from every window display, queues at the fitting rooms to make you want to go trichotillomanic, and random bitches snatching away that top you've been lusting after since like the day before you were born. It's summer sales time! Running from store to store sweat-soaked and frustrated may be your description of a cruise trip to hell, but if you hang in there you just might stumble across that rare sales gem: something you really want, for no money at all. 
To survive all this mayhem, you need to dress appropriately and comfortably and that's where I come in.
Cue cheesy gratuitous photo of a man clutching a clothing item he seems so excited to try on!